Grammar Giggle – Treat Our Customers . . . But Not To Good Grammar!

I saw this business card today and knew it was a Grammar Giggle. While it is a nice thought, it is an incomplete sentence. Do they want YOU to treat their customers that way or do THEY treat their customers that way. I’m all for saving space, but not to the detriment of your message.

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People ARE Paying Attention–Even Amphibious Pitchers!

So many people sent this one to me that I feel compelled to write about it. This headline appeared in the East Oregonian this past weekend. It appears that although it was an Associated Press article, newspapers and other media outlets who reprint AP articles can change the headline to save space, etc. under their contract. So this tells us that the person in charge of laying out the sports pages of Saturday’s East Oregonian doesn’t know the difference between “ambidextrous”–the ability to use either hand as well as the other–and “amphibious”–the ability to work on land or in water. I’m sure lots of people don’t know that difference. The worst part is that the word “ambidextrous” appears in the actual article two words in on the second paragraph–close enough to the top that even I (a non-sports fan) might read that far.

If you have even the slightest question about whether a word is correct, check it out. With online dictionaries a click away, it is inexcusable. This story has spread like wildfire (a search of “amphibious pitcher” brings 158,000 results three days after the initial publication), so the East Oregonian unnamed confused employee has created quite a sensation. And I’m thinking not a very good sensation. Think about your first impression of the East Oregonian newspaper when you started reading this.

I know I would not enjoy being the one responsible for such a “silly mistake.” At least that’s what the East Oregonian editor has to say about it. Silly? Yes. Inexcusable? Maybe. I know we all make mistakes–heaven knows I’ve made more than my fair share (and have stories to prove it!)–but for me, personally, I hold schools and media to a higher standard. LANGUAGE IS YOUR JOB! Of course, it is our job too. Slow down and take the time to get it right.

If you have trouble with vocabulary, start reading! Most newspapers and books go through an editing process designed to make things as error free as possible. The more you read, the more your vocabulary improves. An even better practice is to look up words you don’t understand as you read them. Or sign up for a word of the day on most online dictionary sites and lot of other sites. Just do a Google search for “word of the day” and you will have lots of choices. That is a small thing that could make a big difference. Doing these things on a consistent basis can help you avoid the kind of “silly mistake” that can go viral and put your firm’s name out in the world in a way they hadn’t intended in a manner that is not at all flattering. Take the time your project deserves, concentrate on one project at a time (as much as that is possible), and produce work that is as error free as possible. “Silly mistakes” are for others who don’t work hard to make themselves and their firms look good.

Grammar Giggle – Spacing. It’s Important!

A reader sent this to me. So many things could be said, but suffice it to say that spacing is indeed important. It reminds me of my favorite typing issue. Every time I try to speedily type “does not,” it comes out “doe snot.” Spelled correctly but obviously not what I want to say. Every. Single. Time. So slow down and get it right!

Grammar Giggle – Happiness With a Capital Y

It seems that Facebook could be a virtual treasure trove of material for this blog. Unfortunately, I think I would lose all hope in people generally if I trolled Facebook for errors. Not only that, I don’t want people unfriending me or not friending me at all because they are too worried about showing up here. Just so you know, I don’t do that . . . unless it’s really good.  🙂 People are judging you every day and for some people, a Facebook post or tweet may be the only impression they have of you. Take an extra minute to make sure what you’re posting is in line with how you want to appear to anyone who may see your post.

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Grammar Giggle – Cake Decorators Need Skillz!

First, I want to make it clear that on this Memorial Day, I am thinking of those who have served and continue to serve and those who have given all so I can enjoy my freedom. Second, I want to give credit to one of my favorite pages to follow on Facebook–Cake Wrecks. They always make me laugh and they always make me wonder what skills it takes to work in a bakery. I’m sure baking is first and foremost (as it should be), but decorating is important too. Perhaps we should develop a handbook of common phrases spelled correctly to sell to bakeries. Enjoy your Memorial Day and please pause to remember those American soldiers who gave the ultimate sacrifice.

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Grammar Giggle – This Shows Possession Not Pluralization!

This is on the window of a restaurant next to my office building. As used here, this leads me to believe that either the gyro owns the sandwich and the platter, the owner’s name is Gyro, or it is the name of the business. All of those choices are incorrect (because I have eaten there and know it is your typical gyro) or I wouldn’t feel the need to pull out my phone as I was walking by. There should be no apostrophe at all so that you know they are selling more than one gyro (or it would be a VERY short lunch rush). If you missed my article about apostrophes, check it out here and then quit using them to make words plural . . . please!

Money, Money, Money. Money . . . Money

In this blog post title, I’m singing the song lyric of “For the Love of Money” by the O’Jays (and yes, I know my age is showing). I came across something in proofreading at work today that I thought I should cover. The phrase was “$1 million dollars.” My thought was that since the dollar sign is there and means “dollars,” the word “dollars” is superfluous. So I decided to research the Gregg Reference Manual rules on money.

The first choice with money is to use the dollar sign and numbers.

  • $7.50

You can spell the money reference out when it is isolated and you don’t want to emphasize it.

  • half a million dollars

Indefinite amounts of money should be spelled out.

  • a few thousand dollars

When your sentence contains a whole dollar amount, you do not need to add a period and two zeros UNLESS it is in the same context as an amount with dollars and cents or you need to give special emphasis to an exact amount.

  • INCORRECT: The bread sold for $3, but the butter was $4.25.
  • CORRECT: The bread sold for $3.00, but the butter was $4.25.
  • I will give you $40.00 for dinner and not a penny more.

If you have numbers in a column, all of the numbers should have the decimal and two zeros so the numbers line up and look consistent.

When you have very large amounts of money, it is appropriate to use numbers and words, but use EITHER the dollar sign OR the word “dollars,” not both.

  • $3 million
  • 3 million dollars

Fractional amounts of money should either be spelled out or all numbers, but not an actual fraction.

  • INCORRECT: 1/2 of a million dollars
  • CORRECT: half of a million dollars
  • CORRECT: $500,000

For amounts of money under a dollar, normally use figures and the word “cents.”

  • She paid 49 cents for that shake.

However, do not use the dollar sign and decimal point with cents except when related amounts of money require the dollar sign

  • Today I spent $3.50 for pens, $14.00 for paper, and $.35 for sticky notes.
  • I found a deal on sticky notes and paid only 35 cents per pack.

Where you use the dollar sign or cents sign for a range of numbers, use the symbol with each amount.

  • INCORRECT: My budget for a car was $15,000 to 20,000.
  • CORRECT: My budget for a car was $15,000 to $20,000.

Also, to be clear, if you are using words for the dollar amount, use it after each number.

  • INCORRECT: The income was expected to be between $3 and $5 million. This could be read to be between three dollars and five million dollars and that’s quite a spread.
  • CORRECT: The income was expected to be between $3 million and $5 million.

However, where you are spelling out the numbers, you can add the dollar amount after the last number.

  • The income was expected to be between three and five million dollars.

In legal documents such as contracts and agreements where it needs to be crystal clear, you should spell out the dollar amount and then put the numbers in parentheses right after.

  • The sales price is Three Hundred Forty-five Thousand Dollars ($345,000.00).
  • NOTE: The word “and” does not appear between “Hundred” and “Forty-five.” Even though you may verbally say it that way, it is correct to leave it out, although you can add it if you choose.

When you are describing foreign money, it usually is shown with an abbreviation or a currency symbol at the front.

  • US$45,000
  • Can$45,000
  • €45,000
  • ¥45,000

Well that didn’t increase my coffers any, but now we all know more about writing about money. Please add a comment below or email [email protected] with your burning questions and we can all learn a little something perhaps we didn’t know.

 

Grammar Giggle – There, Their, They’re . . . Someday They May Get It Right!

This I found on Google. They may learn something, but I’m not sure I’d trust this software to teach them something correctly.

their learning

This is one error that I see a lot on Facebook that irritates me. It seems that the errors are mostly (but certainly not exclusively) made by young people. It is not a difficult concept.

  • There means “in that place” as in “He ate at Burger King and parked the car there.”
  • Their means “belonging to them” as in “Their car was stolen last night.”
  • They’re is a contraction for “they are” as in “They’re having twins!”